Anyone who has ever moved from one city to another knows it is a sometimes scary, sometimes invigorating, sometimes lonely thing. (Pro-tip - Never listen to more than 3 Elliot Smith songs in a row while packing) I finished packing up my boxes, taking cast-offs to Goodwill, and started loading my storage unit. While doing these things I realized Connecticut was never my home. I have never made the change from 'is this how you do it here?' to 'this is how we do it here'.
I came east sight-unseen. My job here is awesome. The people I work with are kind, funny, and talented. Yet still, Connecticut never felt like home.
I finally hit on it last Saturday when I realized I've never nailed my pictures to my bedroom wall. I didn't unpack my boxes of research and art books. In short:I never finished moving in, and I've been here almost two full years.
This prompts the question- What makes something or someplace feel like home? Is it your stuff? Is it your friends? Is it the feeling of community you get from your neighborhood? Or is it simply your mindset? Do you have to decide that you are home, and the rest falls into place?
I hope it all becomes clear when I arrive in my new home. While prepping for this move some of my friends want me to tell them I will be in DC for a year or two and then I will finally arrive and be home in NYC. But for me, I can't go into this move feeling like it is yet another temporary layover before my life begins. I want to move somewhere and know I am finally, really, and truly
Home.
2 comments:
The older I get the more "at home" I feel in my own skin and while it seems that I would likely feel at home wherever I chose, I love my little hut on my little hill in the northwest hills of Connecticut.
I admit, it's taken me some 30+ years to feel the passion in that statement, yet it has been worth it. It has taken me all those years to create my tribe. That's it, perhaps . . . *create* my tribe . . . my home.
There's that saying that goes something like, "Life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself."
I'm wondering, now, if the same isn't true for home.
:)
Thank you for offering me this gift of thought.
We only met once, and briefly, and I am glad that we did. Be well! Enjoy the journey!
When someone asks me where I'm from, I pause to keep 'Pennsylvania' from coming out. After 14 years, I should say Southington, right?
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