I've been ignoring you. I am a bad lady. It's true. Don't hate me.....
This week I was having drinks with a co-worker. She is a bit older than me and single. For all practical purposes there is no reason she is single. She is beautiful, good at her job, has a great figure, and is a charming and funny individual. She was not lamenting her single gal life, but was a bit bummed by her single status. As we enjoyed our $14 Capitol Hill cocktails she asked me how I was doing in my transition from single gal to married gal. We chatted a while about the intricacies of commuting, planning a wedding and running a small business while working a full-time job (here's the inside scoop- it's hard, that's why I've not been writing in this blog). We also discussed our similar ideas about our careers. One thing in the conversation led to another, and she asked about my mental place when I was first internet dating. Apparently I had a unique take on it. I looked at it as a job application. The job: my future happiness.
Huh? Yep. When I was dating I looked at it as a job application and interview process. Think about it....
When applying for a job you put your best and (if you are doing it right) most honest foot forward. You don't flatly lie about your abilities, you don't accept a position that wouldn't make you happy, or that doesn't meet your needs. When talking to a future co-worker you are honest with yourself about what you need to get out of the relationship, and what you can bring to the table. You interview a company as much as a company interviews you. If you have lots of experience it is looked at as a good thing, although you will need to be flexible and willing to compromise. If you are just starting out in a field, you accept that you need to learn a few more things about the position you are applying for, and do some research.
The actual dates are really just an interview. First phone date: you are making sure you are both offering something you can live with. First cocktail date: you are having your initial job interview. You talk about your life experiences, and get to know each other a bit better. First dinner date: You make each other an offer-- this is what I have, this is what I expect. From there it is just contract negotiations. If you can both come to a contract that you agree upon and are happy with, negotiations are over and a probationary period begins. Once the probationary period has been met and you both are happy with progress- you can take the next step and enter into a binding contract. Life.