Saturday, June 28, 2008

When internet dating......

Don't try to be witty. It just doesn't translate.

Trust me.

Here is an example:

When someone asks you 'What's your one guilty pleasure?'

Don't reply:
"I like to eat politically incorrect meat while wearing puppy fur and stomping on kitten's heads :)"

Trust me. It gets you 'closed out'.

For those of you not lame enough to have to resort to getting your dates online, being 'closed out' is the same as not having a guy return your phone call, and sending you an email that says:

No Thanks. You are a freak.

Yup. That's been my week.

Clearly he wouldn't have been able to handle the Stack Attack.


Sunday, June 22, 2008

Shopping is hard! Let's do math!!!

When I was living in Chicago working as an apprentice (read:slave) to a theatre that recently won a Tony award (read:jerks) I had the opportunity (read:I was told I was going to do it so I looked at it as an opportunity) to be a shopper for a production of The Merchant of Venice done in modern day Venice. The production was done in ridiculously high fashion with shoes costing more than I made in a month and more than one $2,500 jacket. Although shopping for this show might seem like a dream, it was a huge challenge.

One of the things that made the challenge better was Morgan.
Morgan and I were the only costume students in our college class, and over 4 years we got to be pretty good friends. After graduation she was looking for work, and the theatre was looking for an extra shopper. Insert costume pimp Katie, and I had a shopping partner in snide remark crime. Morgan had sayings about stores. Nieman Markus was Needless Mark-ups. Saks Fifth Ave. was sack of sh*t. Bloomingdales was gloomy days. The one that has stuck with me most though was Talbots. Morgan always said "Talbots is where you shop once you've given up".

"Talbots is where you shop once you've given up" might sound like a harsh statement, but in shopping terms it's pretty much true. Talbots is not famous for it's cutting edge style, it's innovative cuts or even it's new take on old classics. Talbots is a guaranteed thing. It's the booty call of the shopping world. It'll service your needs, it won't change your world. It is where you know you can walk in, try on 15 things and walk out with something that is appropriate. High Appropriate, yes.

Aimee is getting married in 2 weeks. I just yesterday moved into my new apartment, with my new roommates, and last Monday I opened my first show with my fabulous new theatre company. In short- I've been a little busy. So today, I made it my goal to find a fabulous dress to witness Aimee and Eric's nuptial ceremony and Party in the barn. This is much easier said than done.

Today I hit Target, Syms, Fileens, Marshall's, Lord and Taylor, Bloomingdales, Gap, Old Navy, New York and Company, Lane Bryant (I was getting desperate) and finally I gave up. I went into Talbots...

The dress is cute. Earth shattering? No. Mind blowing? No. But cute. More importantly, it's pink, brown, and green. The bride's favorite colours.