Sunday, June 12, 2011

10 Most Important.

This week Mr. SmartGuy and I booked tickets to Florida to pick a venue and date for our wedding. We have also been to several events over the last weeks where I have come to the conclusion, that I am the worlds worst bride. In. The. World. I actually told some lovely early twenty year old girl at a family BBQ that right now I didn't really care about the wedding, I was more concerned with the marriage. She got married last year in a blow-out event that was (I'm sure) a dream wedding for her and all of her friends. I'm sure she worked for hundreds of hours on the wedding.

I'm an ass.

As a little girl I didn't dream of what my wedding dress would look like, I never imagined that I would walk down an aisle with white bunting covering the walls, or that I would be surrounded by my 15 favorite friends all wearing matching dresses. I imagined someday I would meet a guy and we would shack-up and maybe someday we would escape to the courthouse and quietly get married and send out a postcard with a little note that said something to the effect of "we got married!" When we got engaged, I called my parents and said "We're getting married!" My Mom's first question was- "okay, but when? Not tomorrow, right?" I believe that is a serious case of parents knowing their child.

As it becomes very clear that we *are* having a wedding, I have been struggling with what I want. Mr. SmartGuy has a pretty firm idea of what is important to him, however I feel a little scattered. I was chatting with a co-worker who is about 15years older than me. She has been to many weddings. She suggested that I figure out what are the 10 most important things about this event that I want, and will make the event fun and memorable to me. I've been thinking about it for most of the week, and so far- this is what I've got.

1. I want to be married to Mr. SmartGuy. He is awesome, I love him, and I never have to worry about him tweeting pictures of his junk to girls on twitter (he hates social media, and isn't an idiot).

2. I want someone I know and trust to perform the ceremony.

3. I want to make most aspects of the wedding decorations. I love a handmade aesthetic, and I wouldn't feel right about buying things for our wedding. It just wouldn't fit.

4. I want people to walk away from the wedding talking about how non-wedding-industrial-machine the wedding was. I hate the look of matching linens and invitations, and chair covers, and bunting, and giant wasteful floral arrangements, and a huge cake that is covered with chemical crap that really isn't food, but food science.

5. I want our families and guests to have fun.

6. I want to wear something that is flattering, fun, and not something that you can buy off the rack, that will go out of style or date the wedding to mid-2012. I want something vintage and charming. I want my friends to make it.





That's all I have for right now. I'm sure as the weeks and months go by and the time gets closer I will care more about the wedding. For now, all I care about is marrying my best friend, the party is just an outward expression of our inward style.

As a very smart person once said- If people worked as hard on their marriage as they did on their wedding, there would likely be fewer divorces in the world.


katie s. said...

you'll figure it out. or some things you won't figure out and that's fine. if i can pull off a non-industrial-wedding-complex, non-traditional, but still fun & meaningful & everything else wedding, you absolutely can.

also: sid and i got engaged in las vegas. (after hardly any time, as you know.) so when i called my parents to tell them we were engaged, and they were silent, i had to wait a beat and say "just engaged though. really. we're not getting married here."

Jenn M. said...

I think you are focusing on the most important part. The marriage. Too many people focus on the wedding and then what... they have no idea who they are really marrying because they just want the spectacle. I didn't dream of my wedding growing up. Hell, I never even thought I would get married. I guess it was fitting that I got married in a courthouse and told my parents 2 months later. I suppose at some point Josh and I will have a renewal but I doubt it will be some huge event. Just something to celebrate with family since we didn't the first time.
Try to enjoy it, and just look forward to the marriage.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to suggest a 'Dutch' wedding. Although many of my countryfellowmen copy the 'American wedding style' these days, just cycling to the Amsterdam Town Hall to be married and have a wonderful friends-and-family party afterwards, is still popular!

Celebrate with whom you want and how you both want it!


Pat Van Horn said...

you are NOT an ass. just an unconventional gal doing a conventional thing. that's OK. anyway... regarding #6: you want something vintage, AND something made by your friends. can we take a time machine back to oldie timey time and make you something?? sign me up :-)