This week Mr. SmartGuy and I booked tickets to Florida to pick a venue and date for our wedding. We have also been to several events over the last weeks where I have come to the conclusion, that I am the worlds worst bride. In. The. World. I actually told some lovely early twenty year old girl at a family BBQ that right now I didn't really care about the wedding, I was more concerned with the marriage. She got married last year in a blow-out event that was (I'm sure) a dream wedding for her and all of her friends. I'm sure she worked for hundreds of hours on the wedding.
I'm an ass.
As a little girl I didn't dream of what my wedding dress would look like, I never imagined that I would walk down an aisle with white bunting covering the walls, or that I would be surrounded by my 15 favorite friends all wearing matching dresses. I imagined someday I would meet a guy and we would shack-up and maybe someday we would escape to the courthouse and quietly get married and send out a postcard with a little note that said something to the effect of "we got married!" When we got engaged, I called my parents and said "We're getting married!" My Mom's first question was- "okay, but when? Not tomorrow, right?" I believe that is a serious case of parents knowing their child.
As it becomes very clear that we *are* having a wedding, I have been struggling with what I want. Mr. SmartGuy has a pretty firm idea of what is important to him, however I feel a little scattered. I was chatting with a co-worker who is about 15years older than me. She has been to many weddings. She suggested that I figure out what are the 10 most important things about this event that I want, and will make the event fun and memorable to me. I've been thinking about it for most of the week, and so far- this is what I've got.
1. I want to be married to Mr. SmartGuy. He is awesome, I love him, and I never have to worry about him tweeting pictures of his junk to girls on twitter (he hates social media, and isn't an idiot).
2. I want someone I know and trust to perform the ceremony.
3. I want to make most aspects of the wedding decorations. I love a handmade aesthetic, and I wouldn't feel right about buying things for our wedding. It just wouldn't fit.
4. I want people to walk away from the wedding talking about how non-wedding-industrial-machine the wedding was. I hate the look of matching linens and invitations, and chair covers, and bunting, and giant wasteful floral arrangements, and a huge cake that is covered with chemical crap that really isn't food, but food science.
5. I want our families and guests to have fun.
6. I want to wear something that is flattering, fun, and not something that you can buy off the rack, that will go out of style or date the wedding to mid-2012. I want something vintage and charming. I want my friends to make it.
That's all I have for right now. I'm sure as the weeks and months go by and the time gets closer I will care more about the wedding. For now, all I care about is marrying my best friend, the party is just an outward expression of our inward style.
As a very smart person once said- If people worked as hard on their marriage as they did on their wedding, there would likely be fewer divorces in the world.